Author: Minervacat
Fandom: due South
Pairing: Fraser/Kowalski
Rating: R
Summary: Nine things Ray Kowalski knows about Canada, and one thing Benton Fraser knows about Chicago.

i visit these
mountains with frequency
and i stand here with my arms out
now somedays they'll last longer than others
but this day by the lake went too fast

1. Relocation

Fraser never asked Ray to stay in Canada. Ray never offered to.

It happened like this: because Ray flew into Canada without a passport, he called Stella, had her send it up. He called Frannie, had her pack up six boxes of CDs, two boxes of clothes and one box of videotapes and then mail them to Inuvik. He moved his stuff into Fraser’s cabin, he filled out a ton of paperwork, he got a job fixing engines in bush planes.

Two years later, Fraser said, "So I take it you’re staying, Ray?"

Ray said, "Don’t be a dumbass, Fraser."

2. Motion

Fraser moves differently up here. He’s the same guy, studiously sincere and gracious to a fault, but Ray never noticed, back in Chicago, that even when he was holding doors and tipping his hat, everything was so controlled.

Fraser walks bigger up here, like because there’s open spaces, Fraser can walk in this big way. People get out of his way here - people never got out of his way in Chicago.

Everybody up here gets out of Fraser’s way and lets him pass through, except for Ray; Ray stands right in Fraser’s path up here, and Fraser stops for him.

3. Apologies

Ray knew that Fraser lived out in the middle of nowhere, but he hadn’t realized that it really was the middle of nowhere. He and Fraser don’t fight that much - not much to fight about - but when they do, Ray doesn’t have anywhere to run.

In Chicago, he’d slam out the door, stomp down to Barleycorn’s, drink until he couldn’t stand up. But where’s he going to go in Canada, out behind the woodpile?

So Ray makes an effort. Because there’s a ton of space up here, but not so much that he can stand Fraser being pissed at him.

4. Boredom

One problem Ray never has in Canada: boredom. You would think, long winter nights, plenty of time to go crazy with nothing to do, but no - there’s always plenty to do, feeding the dogs, tinkering with the snowmobile, spending long nights with Fraser’s body spread out beneath him in the bed. There’s a million and one things that got to be done, and another half a million that Ray wants to do.

3 million people in Chicago, and Ray was bored all the time; 1 Mountie, 1 wolf, and 10 sled dogs in Canada, and Ray’s never bored at all.

5. Molson

Ray sometimes thinks about: how incredibly stupid it is to pick up and move to an entirely new country on a possibly-hypothermia influenced whim.

Ray misses: deep dish pizza from Gino’s East; the handful of perfect spring days in May that make Wrigley Field heaven; a really cold Old Style on a hot day; Lake Shore Drive; the view from the Hancock Building over a glass of good Scotch.

Ray doesn’t miss: everything else. It’s not that Canadian beer holds a candle to Old Style, it’s just that with Fraser in the kitchen stirring spaghetti, Ray doesn’t need much else.

6. Aurora Borealis

Spend a lot of time in Chicago looking up, and you’re likely to get a faceful of ice falling off a skyscraper.

Spend a lot of time in Canada looking up, and Ray sees the Northern Lights, and more stars than he fucking knew existed, and sunsets like he never thought existed anywhere in the world.

Sometimes Ray walks out of the cabin at night and finds Fraser staring up at the sky, like the answers to life’s question are written in the stars; Ray doesn’t have answers, but he wrap his arms around Fraser’s waist, and sometimes that’s enough.

7. Silence

When Fraser is working, out in the field or on the ice floes or wherever it is that Fraser goes for days at a time, Ray plays his tiny boombox as loud as it will go. When Fraser is gone, Ray dances in the kitchen and leaves his boots in the middle of the floor and throws all the covers off the bed when he gets up in the morning.

Kind of, it’s because when Fraser’s gone, Ray can, but mostly it’s because the cabin is too damn quiet when Fraser’s gone, and Ray just can’t stand the endless silence.

8. Weather

You can see the clouds coming from a mile away up here. It’s helpful, it’s useful, it means that Ray can see the storms in enough time to stock up wood and they won’t freeze to death when another three feet of snow falls down. Ray is very much in favor of not freezing to death.

But sometimes it would be nice to have a surprise; be standing outside feeding the dogs on a July afternoon and suddenly be soaked by a thunderstorm. He doesn’t miss it, exactly, but sometimes he wonders when everything in his life got so predictable.

9. Coffee

"Fraser. We are out of coffee."

"Ray, I told you last week that if you needed more coffee, we’d have to order it in, and you said you had more than enough."

"That was then, this is now. Now, no coffee."

"You’ll just have to wait until next week when I order more."

"This is not like being out of milk, Fraser, this is like being out of money or out of air. No coffee."

Coffee is like air, and Fraser comes around the table and fills Ray up on air; most of the time, Ray forgets about the coffee.

10. Happiness

Benton calls Ray Vecchio, who calls his wife, who calls Mayor Daley. Three days later a frustrated Canada Post employee turns up with two plane tickets, two bleacher seats for Game 2 of the World Series in Wrigley Field.

He remembers Chicago in October, chill damp not yet turned true cold. He remembers Ray’s joy whenever the Cubs exhibited a modicum of prowess. But he’d never seen Ray’s face light up like this before, he’s never seen Ray smile at him over a cheap plastic cup of beer like Ray does when "Play ball" rings out across the Chicago sky.

author’s notes: for lyra, on her birthday, with much love and affection. 10 things they know, 100 words each. title and epigraph from rilo kiley, "with arms outstretched". pearl-o made my gorgeous banner.